Suicide Hits Home

September is SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH. I've honestly had no idea what to write about this month, until today.

This blog is written in tribute and in memory of my friend Beak McFlaps and the many lives he's touched and the community he's impacted.

The mural, street art, and art truck was by my good friend Jay. People knew him as Beak, Beak McFlaps, JayBird McFlaps, Jay, Jason, and JKS. When I and others read his SUICIDE NOTE the first week of this month of September on Instagram, I and many of us were too late to reach him. When I read his suicide note on my feed... it was all too much for me to take. Just a few months prior, I shared with him "OVERWHELMED BY STAGE FRIGHT" and how I even mentioned him in it as one of my sources of inspiration.

I've been in SHOCK since the tremendous and great loss.

Jay was a very good soul and heaven gained an angel. He was so respected and well loved by our community.

Whenever I see your art Jay, you've always brought a smile on my face. You've not failed to amaze me, Jay. You are irreplaceable.


I've since had two new Instagram followers that have also been impacted by SUICIDE. Someone who tragically lost her 20 year old niece to SUICIDE in October. Her niece attended college in the Aloha State. Another who attended high school with someone who took his own life years back.

SUICIDE hits home. I was a child when I first lost someone to "SUICIDE." That was my first funeral, I was way young to process the deep impact of "SUICIDE." I knew not then I was in SHOCK.

It took me many years to be able to heal and be released from that SHOCK. My faith and relationship with God has helped me, heaps, leaps and bounds to process and release it all to God. It's not easy, but God has been so helpful in my healing.

Prior to reading Jay's SUICIDE NOTE on my IG feed, I've kept in touch with him and he confided in me that he was going through life challenges. At that point I did not know to what extent. I've continued to reach out. I wished, looking back, that I could've done more even with all the Covid-19 restrictions. Since he took his own life, I've needed time for the grieving process to take its course. 


I will not forget the collaborative projects he and I worked on together. The laughs we've had. I will not forget his laughter. His humor. His creativity. His genius. His wit. His heart, he had such a great heart. And so much more I will not forget. The shows and events he came out to support me in. I will not forget how much of a big supporter Jay was in my life. I remember when Jay had his art showing in the arts district of Chinatown, and how his smile lit up the whole entire room. He was so happy. One of the most passionate artists I've ever gotten to know.

I've since chatted with friends and spoke over the phone with people who knew him. We've lost a good soul. Heaven gained a beautiful angel.


My heart, prayers, thoughts, and condolences go out to all impacted by the news of Jay. My prayers go out to all whose lives were lost to SUICIDE and those impacted by their loss.

I will miss you forever B3@K 03! Rest in love, peace and paradise JKS!

Your friend,
Jason Tom

40 comments

  • Nate
    Nate Oahu
    My condolences to you Jason and to all that knew your friend and loved him.

    My condolences to you Jason and to all that knew your friend and loved him.

  • Akemi
    Akemi Hawaii
    I can't believe this to be true.. Thankyou Jay for helping me fall asleep after staying up for three days... You saved my life. I will never forget you. May God keep & Protect your soul and wash your sins away with the blood of Christ & may you be in His arms. You are very much missed. I wish I could give you a hug for one last time... Rest in peace my friend ❤️❤️❤️ My heart goes out to you as well Jason. He was truly such a good friend to have and you were one in the same for him right back! My deepest condolences. 🙏

    I can't believe this to be true.. Thankyou Jay for helping me fall asleep after staying up for three days... You saved my life. I will never forget you. May God keep & Protect your soul and wash your sins away with the blood of Christ & may you be in His arms. You are very much missed. I wish I could give you a hug for one last time... Rest in peace my friend ❤️❤️❤️
    My heart goes out to you as well Jason. He was truly such a good friend to have and you were one in the same for him right back! My deepest condolences. 🙏

  • Elizabell Brown
    Elizabell Brown Waianae, HI
    The story and life of Jay and many others who may have taken their life perplexes me as well. How we can see their lives seem at peace yet their way above their head with depression, oppression and fear. We do not see their heart or feel their pain. What we see is the outside of their character. Their smile, their gifts, and the makeup on the outside. But then I wonder why we couldn' t see not even a glimpse of what they were feeling or see their suffering? Later, I realized that maybe I could have communicated more, love more, listened more. But it's no use in blame because we don't know how deep their situation was. How much of the lies they believed and for how long. The unworthiness they may have felt or fear. They may have thought, "I don't think anyone cares that much for me" because their too busy? By then it's too late. However, we can change these death and life situations by impacting people's lives forever. By staying alert and becoming an intercessor for our friends. Here are several prayers we can request to Father God, for our family, friends, and those who may be going through a difficult time: 1. Ask God to meet their needs mind, soul, body and spirit. 2. Send angelic protection and divine intervention and engage in spiritual warfare against evil. 3. Pray for supernatural peace, direction, and wisdom. And that they will come through completely unharmed. Ps 118:17. 4. Ask God to pour out His abundant grace upon them. 5. Ask God to show you what he's trying to teach you through your friends. 6. Thank God for the blessings of friends. 7. Ask God to show you if there's anything in your heart that may hinder your prayers. 8. Ask God to infuse them with His faith. 9. We pray for our friends to be encouraged by desiring them to read the Bible. Lastly, ask God to fill us with His love for our friends. We need to communicate more love to our friends through prayer. Amen.

    The story and life of Jay and many others who may have taken their life perplexes me as well. How we can see their lives seem at peace yet their way above their head with depression, oppression and fear. We do not see their heart or feel their pain. What we see is the outside of their character. Their smile, their gifts, and the makeup on the outside. But then I wonder why we couldn' t see not even a glimpse of what they were feeling or see their suffering? Later, I realized that maybe I could have communicated more, love more, listened more. But it's no use in blame because we don't know how deep their situation was. How much of the lies they believed and for how long. The unworthiness they may have felt or fear. They may have thought, "I don't think anyone cares that much for me" because their too busy? By then it's too late. However, we can change these death and life situations by impacting people's lives forever. By staying alert and becoming an intercessor for our friends.
    Here are several prayers we can request to Father God, for our family, friends, and those who may be going through a difficult time:
    1. Ask God to meet their needs mind, soul, body and spirit.
    2. Send angelic protection and divine intervention and engage in spiritual warfare against evil.
    3. Pray for supernatural peace, direction, and wisdom. And that they will come through completely unharmed. Ps 118:17.
    4. Ask God to pour out His abundant grace upon them.
    5. Ask God to show you what he's trying to teach you through your friends.
    6. Thank God for the blessings of friends.
    7. Ask God to show you if there's anything in your heart that may hinder your prayers.
    8. Ask God to infuse them with His faith.
    9. We pray for our friends to be encouraged by desiring them to read the Bible.
    Lastly, ask God to fill us with His love for our friends. We need to communicate more love to our friends through prayer.
    Amen.

  • Olivia
    Olivia Los Angeles
    This is such a tough time for everyone. Keeping everyone in my prayers 💜

    This is such a tough time for everyone. Keeping everyone in my prayers 💜

  • Melia Vixen
    Melia Vixen Honolulu, HI
    I honestly don’t know where to start... The news of Jay’s death floored me. We became friends through our mutual connection to the Hawai’i art/entertainment scene. We always exchanged supportive posts, private messages, etc. I can recall when we first became aquatinted, before our friendship truly began, and what immediately resonated with me, was the rarity of his genuine nature. It was then, that I knew we’d become good friends. I only wish that I would’ve been blessed with more time to foster that friendship and be able to create more memories/stories of his amazing character and generosity. His talent is well known, especially throughout Oahu, but what I'd like people to also remember about Beaks, was his infectious, positive and kind personality. For those who were lucky enough to call him a friend, consider yourself more than fortunate and truly cherish the memories and time you spent together. For those of you who didn’t know him, I hope that all of these stories, will paint a picture of the wonderful person he was. His absence, will leave an emptiness that will be felt by so many people, and impact so many lives. The street art and entertainment industries, along with so many others, will forever be changed by the loss of Beak McFlaps. To Jay: I wish I could speak to you one last time and tell you all the things that I never got to say. I wish I would’ve known the pain you were in, even if just to cry with you. It gives me solace to know that you’re no longer in pain and will be looking down on us. Now that you’re in the hands of God, I hope you’ve found the comfort and contentment that you were unable to here on earth. Know that whenever I think of you, I’ll be smiling. I miss you Jay... Until we meet again one day, I’ll just say this, I love you ♥️🐦

    I honestly don’t know where to start... The news of Jay’s death floored me. We became friends through our mutual connection to the Hawai’i art/entertainment scene. We always exchanged supportive posts, private messages, etc. I can recall when we first became aquatinted, before our friendship truly began, and what immediately resonated with me, was the rarity of his genuine nature. It was then, that I knew we’d become good friends. I only wish that I would’ve been blessed with more time to foster that friendship and be able to create more memories/stories of his amazing character and generosity. His talent is well known, especially throughout Oahu, but what I'd like people to also remember about Beaks, was his infectious, positive and kind personality. For those who were lucky enough to call him a friend, consider yourself more than fortunate and truly cherish the memories and time you spent together. For those of you who didn’t know him, I hope that all of these stories, will paint a picture of the wonderful person he was. His absence, will leave an emptiness that will be felt by so many people, and impact so many lives. The street art and entertainment industries, along with so many others, will forever be changed by the loss of Beak McFlaps. To Jay: I wish I could speak to you one last time and tell you all the things that I never got to say. I wish I would’ve known the pain you were in, even if just to cry with you. It gives me solace to know that you’re no longer in pain and will be looking down on us. Now that you’re in the hands of God, I hope you’ve found the comfort and contentment that you were unable to here on earth. Know that whenever I think of you, I’ll be smiling. I miss you Jay... Until we meet again one day, I’ll just say this, I love you ♥️🐦

  • Miranda
    Miranda China
    Stay strong! 💪

    Stay strong! 💪

  • Thomas
    Thomas Oahu
    Suicide is something that doesn’t just hit home for me, it has moved in and and lives with me side by side. I’m bipolar. Originally Manic Depressive, my original diagnosis before bipolar was even a thing. My first suicide attempt was at age 7. I didn’t understand why. Life continued until I started self medicating my severe depression with drugs. Today, I have been 21 years clean and sober from ice. A drug that devastated me, grabbed me by the balls and wouldn’t let go. But it was better than the depression and suicidal ideation that was underlying my addiction. I didn’t begin to understand my diagnosis u til I went into treatment as dual diagnosis. I am medication resistant, and continue to this day to struggle with my suicidal ideation, which has never left me. I have had to learn to live with it daily and never know when I will get pushed over the edge by a trigger. I have spent many months of my life in every psych hospital on the island. So many episodes my brain knows what to expect and how to talk to professionals and my treatment team to manipulate them. Lately in the last decade or so, I have learned to be honest and have begun to explore my triggers. My biggest asset is a great therapist and case manager that genuinely care about my well being and have built a rapport of trust and support with me. Especially during this trying time of a pandemic, I want to bring light to the many people that are struggling with “new” depression. They don’t have the tools and experience dealing with their depression like I have collected during my lifetime. Society has many to believe that depression and suicide, and more importantly, a therapist is something to be ashamed of and not talked about. For myself, I am way beyond that, and it is so much a part of my life, I can speak openly about it. But to those suffering “new” depression, I urge you to seek a therapist to talk about it. There is no shame in having feelings, being sad or depressed, but you have to do something about it to break through the barrier. There is no shame. Everyone has it to some degree, and you need to open up about it and talk about it before it consumes you. I write a post every Monday using the semi colon, which is often used in the mental health community as a symbol that “our life or story isn’t over yet” and I genuinely say ... Stay safe out there. Be well;

    Suicide is something that doesn’t just hit home for me, it has moved in and and lives with me side by side. I’m bipolar. Originally Manic Depressive, my original diagnosis before bipolar was even a thing. My first suicide attempt was at age 7. I didn’t understand why. Life continued until I started self medicating my severe depression with drugs. Today, I have been 21 years clean and sober from ice. A drug that devastated me, grabbed me by the balls and wouldn’t let go. But it was better than the depression and suicidal ideation that was underlying my addiction. I didn’t begin to understand my diagnosis u til I went into treatment as dual diagnosis. I am medication resistant, and continue to this day to struggle with my suicidal ideation, which has never left me. I have had to learn to live with it daily and never know when I will get pushed over the edge by a trigger. I have spent many months of my life in every psych hospital on the island. So many episodes my brain knows what to expect and how to talk to professionals and my treatment team to manipulate them. Lately in the last decade or so, I have learned to be honest and have begun to explore my triggers. My biggest asset is a great therapist and case manager that genuinely care about my well being and have built a rapport of trust and support with me. Especially during this trying time of a pandemic, I want to bring light to the many people that are struggling with “new” depression. They don’t have the tools and experience dealing with their depression like I have collected during my lifetime. Society has many to believe that depression and suicide, and more importantly, a therapist is something to be ashamed of and not talked about. For myself, I am way beyond that, and it is so much a part of my life, I can speak openly about it. But to those suffering “new” depression, I urge you to seek a therapist to talk about it. There is no shame in having feelings, being sad or depressed, but you have to do something about it to break through the barrier. There is no shame. Everyone has it to some degree, and you need to open up about it and talk about it before it consumes you. I write a post every Monday using the semi colon, which is often used in the mental health community as a symbol that “our life or story isn’t over yet” and I genuinely say ... Stay safe out there. Be well;

  • Ashley
    Ashley Maui
    My deepest condolences to you and his family. I understand the feeling when a friend is going thru that. I myself have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was on three different medications for it until I told myself enough. I stopped the medication, but there are times when it gets rough. I tell myself that I do have people that are there for me. It’s not easy, but it does help.

    My deepest condolences to you and his family. I understand the feeling when a friend is going thru that. I myself have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was on three different medications for it until I told myself enough. I stopped the medication, but there are times when it gets rough. I tell myself that I do have people that are there for me. It’s not easy, but it does help.

  • Gabriel
    Gabriel Pennsylvania
    My condolences my dear friend. It’s never easy to lose a friend or loved who has touched so many souls around them. Let us celebrate his life that he lived and never forget. Stay blessed Jason.

    My condolences my dear friend. It’s never easy to lose a friend or loved who has touched so many souls around them. Let us celebrate his life that he lived and never forget. Stay blessed Jason.

  • Michael
    Michael Hawaii
    Sad.

    Sad.

  • Prime
    Prime The moon
    Thank you for this beautiful tribute to a dear friend to many. His legend will continue to live on in all of us. Let’s continue to keep him in light and love🤙🏾❤️

    Thank you for this beautiful tribute to a dear friend to many. His legend will continue to live on in all of us. Let’s continue to keep him in light and love🤙🏾❤️

  • ANTONIA PENNA-ADLER
    ANTONIA PENNA-ADLER KAILUA
    I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR TRAGIC LOSS. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE VERY FAMILIAR WITH THIS ISSUE. IT IS VERY REAL TO US AND VERY REAL TO MY DAUGHTERS. IF YOU ARE AT RISK ANYBODY, PLEASE JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP, TELL YOUR DOCTOR, GET A SPONSOR. MY FAITH HAS GIVEN ME STRENGTH AND MY SPIRITUAL COMMUNITY DEALS WITH SUICIDE FEELINGS HEAD ON. MOUNTAIN VIEW COMMUNITY CHURCH BELIEVES THAT PRAYER CAN FREE SUFFERING PEOPLE FROM SHAME, FEAR, ISOLATION, FEELING ORPHANED. I PUT THIS OUT THERE BECAUSE A CENTER IS BEING BUILT TO HELP OUR COMMUNITY GET HEALED. GOD BLESS YOU.

    I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR TRAGIC LOSS. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE VERY FAMILIAR WITH THIS ISSUE. IT IS VERY REAL TO US AND VERY REAL TO MY DAUGHTERS. IF YOU ARE AT RISK ANYBODY, PLEASE JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP, TELL YOUR DOCTOR, GET A SPONSOR. MY FAITH HAS GIVEN ME STRENGTH AND MY SPIRITUAL COMMUNITY DEALS WITH SUICIDE FEELINGS HEAD ON. MOUNTAIN VIEW COMMUNITY CHURCH BELIEVES THAT PRAYER CAN FREE SUFFERING PEOPLE FROM SHAME, FEAR, ISOLATION, FEELING ORPHANED. I PUT THIS OUT THERE BECAUSE A CENTER IS BEING BUILT TO HELP OUR COMMUNITY GET HEALED. GOD BLESS YOU.

  • Diana weng
    Diana weng Foster city
    Thanks for this beautiful tribute to your friend. Our deepest condolences to you, his family, and friends. His legacy of love continues. Stay optimistic! Xo

    Thanks for this beautiful tribute to your friend. Our deepest condolences to you, his family, and friends. His legacy of love continues. Stay optimistic! Xo

  • Amanda
    Amanda Kaneohe, Hawaii
    Every person is important and impactful. Thank you for sharing your grief. Praying for you and your friends' family and friends comfort and peace. Praying anyone who feels alone that they can reach out, receive a sign, they are of value. Suicide cuts your core. God Bless!

    Every person is important and impactful. Thank you for sharing your grief. Praying for you and your friends' family and friends comfort and peace. Praying anyone who feels alone that they can reach out, receive a sign, they are of value. Suicide cuts your core.
    God Bless!

  • John Tussey
    John Tussey Pearl City, Hawaii
    Jason, I am sorry for your loss. Your tribute is beautiful. May the love and peace of God surround you in great measure.

    Jason, I am sorry for your loss. Your tribute is beautiful. May the love and peace of God surround you in great measure.

  • m
    m oahu
    rest in love, beak. you are so very missed. ❤️ thank you jason for your loving words.

    rest in love, beak. you are so very missed. ❤️
    thank you jason for your loving words.

  • Cherry-Anne Satterfield
    Cherry-Anne Satterfield South Central LA
    Unfortunately that happened to your friend. I am praying that you are okay times have been tough for all of us I know. I never had a friend that was suicidal but at one point I was. It was a time in my life that I was homeless as a child and bullied constantly. Then someone told me don't have a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That saved my life.

    Unfortunately that happened to your friend. I am praying that you are okay times have been tough for all of us I know. I never had a friend that was suicidal but at one point I was. It was a time in my life that I was homeless as a child and bullied constantly. Then someone told me don't have a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That saved my life.

  • Ashley
    Ashley Hilo
    What a beautiful post for such a talented person. I loved seeing his art everywhere and remember searching for his pieces as a young teen and feeling so happy when I found one in a new spot. So sorry for this loss. Rest in love Jay.

    What a beautiful post for such a talented person. I loved seeing his art everywhere and remember searching for his pieces as a young teen and feeling so happy when I found one in a new spot. So sorry for this loss. Rest in love Jay.

  • Ashley
    Ashley Hilo
    What a beautiful post for such a talented person. I loved seeing his art everywhere and remember searching for his pieces as a young teen and feeling so happy when I found one in a new spot. So sorry for this loss. Rest in love Jay.

    What a beautiful post for such a talented person. I loved seeing his art everywhere and remember searching for his pieces as a young teen and feeling so happy when I found one in a new spot. So sorry for this loss. Rest in love Jay.

  • Seneca
    Seneca Big Island
    thank you for sharing, heaven did gain an amazing spirit and I bet his art lives on for eternity on earth as up there. Thank you for being one to reach out at the most subtle of signs, we all need to be reminded that there are those willing to listen and willing to love! I have had a couple family members and friends that passed on, taking their own lives and its always the 'I wish I could've done more mentality' that sticks on. Lots of aloha, -sen ❤💛💚

    thank you for sharing, heaven did gain an amazing spirit and I bet his art lives on for eternity on earth as up there. Thank you for being one to reach out at the most subtle of signs, we all need to be reminded that there are those willing to listen and willing to love!

    I have had a couple family members and friends that passed on, taking their own lives and its always the 'I wish I could've done more mentality' that sticks on.

    Lots of aloha,
    -sen ❤💛💚

  • Maple
    Maple Singapore
    Hi Jason, thank you for sharing your story. It’s so touching. Big heart. I lost my best friend just 2 years ago to a sudden illness , so I understand the shock you went through. Let’s continue to support our friends or people who are struggling, as much as we can!

    Hi Jason, thank you for sharing your story. It’s so touching. Big heart. I lost my best friend just 2 years ago to a sudden illness , so I understand the shock you went through. Let’s continue to support our friends or people who are struggling, as much as we can!

  • Paul Klink
    Paul Klink Honolulu, HI, USA
    Jason is an exemplary gentleman, friend, and a true-blue-die-hard ARTIST with a HEART! Listen and Learn, as I have... Live Aloha, Paul

    Jason is an exemplary gentleman, friend, and a true-blue-die-hard ARTIST with a HEART! Listen and Learn, as I have...

    Live Aloha,

    Paul

  • Addison
    Addison Waianae
    It’s real. I’ve have many in my life that have done. Death is for the living, only the living feel DAThat. My opinion on this to get pass that mind set is finding exits, like your beatboxing. Sometimes suicidal thoughts and ones who do not all do because of stuff like rape and Child molest station but most do for that kine, some do for illnesses like cancer etc. Some you can’t even help when ones mind is only that, it’s like you can only do so much or it can affect you. Prayer is only thing one can do besides finding the proper numbers to assist you because sometimes you might have something like a disorder ADD, ADHD, PDSD or even disability or handicap. To who ever might be in this state of mind beside finding exits, again like your beatboxing even books and math are all exits, from my experience of this topic talking helps even theses comments can help someone that might be going through this. Even the inspirer need inspiration. Aloha with love all over... #repostgood#

    It’s real. I’ve have many in my life that have done. Death is for the living, only the living feel DAThat. My opinion on this to get pass that mind set is finding exits, like your beatboxing. Sometimes suicidal thoughts and ones who do not all do because of stuff like rape and Child molest station but most do for that kine, some do for illnesses like cancer etc. Some you can’t even help when ones mind is only that, it’s like you can only do so much or it can affect you. Prayer is only thing one can do besides finding the proper numbers to assist you because sometimes you might have something like a disorder ADD, ADHD, PDSD or even disability or handicap. To who ever might be in this state of mind beside finding exits, again like your beatboxing even books and math are all exits, from my experience of this topic talking helps even theses comments can help someone that might be going through this. Even the inspirer need inspiration.
    Aloha with love all over... #repostgood#

  • Vanessa (Vee)
    Vanessa (Vee) Mi Casa
    First off, Jason, thank you for sharing this. That takes a lot of courage to open up and share such vulnerabilities. Sadly, I am too familiar with Suicidal deaths, not one, but two seperate losses. Although I try to understand their feelings of helplessness or not wanting to "create more of a burden," their actions leave an impact like a ripple effect on those lives that they touched. It does not get easier, it just takes more understanding to accept what they chose to do. It is a choice. There are help hotlines if you or someone close to you needs help. Here it is. 1-800-273-8255 Hope what you've posted makes an impact. Thanks, Vanessa (Vee Jay)

    First off, Jason, thank you for sharing this. That takes a lot of courage to open up and share such vulnerabilities.
    Sadly, I am too familiar with Suicidal deaths, not one, but two seperate losses. Although I try to understand their feelings of helplessness or not wanting to "create more of a burden," their actions leave an impact like a ripple effect on those lives that they touched.
    It does not get easier, it just takes more understanding to accept what they chose to do.

    It is a choice.

    There are help hotlines if you or someone close to you needs help. Here it is.
    1-800-273-8255

    Hope what you've posted makes an impact. Thanks, Vanessa (Vee Jay)

  • Marilena
    Marilena Romania
    Sorry for your loss Jason. May your friend rest in peace. When we notice persons with real problems we all should ask them what's wrong, to make them open their souls to us, in this way we can prevent some of the tragedies like suicides. Some "red flags" are visible. Long ago I was working with a man. He became quiet and depressed, he started to drink a lot at work, nobody asked him "what's wrong?" , he just seen with his work in silence. Until one day, early morning at work I have seen him hunged by a tree. It was a terrible image, I couldn't believe is real. Then police came, and criminalists and all teams.....later we found out he suicide himself and let a note in his pants that he is saying "good bye" to the world but his problems are overwhelmed and out of his power to solve them. So he chooses to kill himself. I was young, I had 21 years old when this happened. Since then, every time I see a sad person that is not as it should be usually, I start to ask that person if everything is all right. Just a simple question can make the other person to not feel so alone in this world. We all should be good with each others. God bless you Jason. ❣️

    Sorry for your loss Jason. May your friend rest in peace. When we notice persons with real problems we all should ask them what's wrong, to make them open their souls to us, in this way we can prevent some of the tragedies like suicides. Some "red flags" are visible. Long ago I was working with a man. He became quiet and depressed, he started to drink a lot at work, nobody asked him "what's wrong?" , he just seen with his work in silence. Until one day, early morning at work I have seen him hunged by a tree. It was a terrible image, I couldn't believe is real. Then police came, and criminalists and all teams.....later we found out he suicide himself and let a note in his pants that he is saying "good bye" to the world but his problems are overwhelmed and out of his power to solve them. So he chooses to kill himself. I was young, I had 21 years old when this happened. Since then, every time I see a sad person that is not as it should be usually, I start to ask that person if everything is all right. Just a simple question can make the other person to not feel so alone in this world. We all should be good with each others. God bless you Jason. ❣️

  • Brennz
    Brennz Oahu
    Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss

    Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss

  • maka
    maka Japan
    I would like to offer my condolences for the loss of your friend. Hope you get over this grief as quickly as possible Jason.

    I would like to offer my condolences for the loss of your friend. Hope you get over this grief as quickly as possible Jason.

  • Matt
    Matt Canada
    Thank you for speaking up Jason - your heart for your friends is hopeful and encouraging to others.

    Thank you for speaking up Jason - your heart for your friends is hopeful and encouraging to others.

  • Cindy
    Cindy Colorado
    Thanks for sharing this part of your life. You're a bright light Jaso and I am sure Jay was blessed by your friendship just like all of us here. Prayers to those impacted by suicide. I bless everyone with life, purpose and self-value. Everyone's life is precious and meaningful. Blessing to you Jason!

    Thanks for sharing this part of your life. You're a bright light Jaso and I am sure Jay was blessed by your friendship just like all of us here. Prayers to those impacted by suicide. I bless everyone with life, purpose and self-value. Everyone's life is precious and meaningful. Blessing to you Jason!

  • JJones
    JJones Kapahulu
    Beautifully written Jason, I have lost some friends to suicide as well and although it’s very sad for us who are left on earth I take comfort in the fact that they are no longer hurting. Of course we all rather have our friends here but it was their choice to leave. Just hope more people reach out who are hurting so there is a chance to save them 💞

    Beautifully written Jason, I have lost some friends to suicide as well and although it’s very sad for us who are left on earth I take comfort in the fact that they are no longer hurting. Of course we all rather have our friends here but it was their choice to leave. Just hope more people reach out who are hurting so there is a chance to save them 💞

  • Joanna
    Joanna Los Angeles
    Rest in Love Jay. And thank you Jason for being so vulnerable in sharing your experience with the loss of your friend. As unfortunate as it is, many can relate and we need to keep the conversation going and raise awareness. Lets keep spreading the Aloha.

    Rest in Love Jay. And thank you Jason for being so vulnerable in sharing your experience with the loss of your friend. As unfortunate as it is, many can relate and we need to keep the conversation going and raise awareness. Lets keep spreading the Aloha.

  • Tiha
    Tiha Germany
    My condolences Jason!:((..the thought of reading a friend's suicide note makes chills run down my spine..

    My condolences Jason!frown(..the thought of reading a friend's suicide note makes chills run down my spine..

  • Fay
    Fay Japan
    My condolences for the loss of your friend. Thank you for sharing your love, Jason. Prayers for your friends’ family and you for comfort and peace. God bless you✨

    My condolences for the loss of your friend. Thank you for sharing your love, Jason. Prayers for your friends’ family and you for comfort and peace. God bless you✨

  • Fran
    Fran Honolulu
    I'm so sorry for your loss, Jason. My first husband chose to end his own life many years ago. I don't know if Jay left a family behind or not, but I pray for those who loved him who are now mourning his loss, including you.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Jason. My first husband chose to end his own life many years ago. I don't know if Jay left a family behind or not, but I pray for those who loved him who are now mourning his loss, including you.

  • Nita
    Nita Honolulu
    I'm glad you wrote about this difficult subject. The scale tips fairly easily from shaming someone reaching out for help as "suicidal" to sending "thoughts and prayers" when that person actually dies. Our society skims the surface of real human emotion and only seemingly allows for charm. Writing about this topic and bringing it to light is fulfilling your friends legacy and honoring him by helping others. Well done. Be raw and honest. It wards off depression and the fake people who shouldn't be leeching your energy anyways.

    I'm glad you wrote about this difficult subject. The scale tips fairly easily from shaming someone reaching out for help as "suicidal" to sending "thoughts and prayers" when that person actually dies. Our society skims the surface of real human emotion and only seemingly allows for charm. Writing about this topic and bringing it to light is fulfilling your friends legacy and honoring him by helping others. Well done. Be raw and honest. It wards off depression and the fake people who shouldn't be leeching your energy anyways.

  • Jim
    Jim Vegas
    Our song "Loud and Clear" is about this topic. We have seen too many and so we wanted to bring attention to the fact that you are never alone. No one is ever alone. Maybe the love we put into that track is why it is charting top 50 with over 550,000 listeners last week alone. Either way positive vibes to all of you here and hope to see you all soon in person. Jim

    Our song "Loud and Clear" is about this topic. We have seen too many and so we wanted to bring attention to the fact that you are never alone. No one is ever alone. Maybe the love we put into that track is why it is charting top 50 with over 550,000 listeners last week alone. Either way positive vibes to all of you here and hope to see you all soon in person.
    Jim

  • Dr. Miko
    Dr. Miko Chinatown, Honolulu
    Thank you, Jason, for this heartfelt tribute and contribution. Many in our community are still stunned and reeling from Beak's breaking off from this proverbial scene. Suicidality rates are up across the globe, likely due to COVID-19 and related factors. Also, even in my friendship circles, I'm witnessing a number of previously stale individuals decompensating. It's so sad even paranoia destroys relationships and lives. It is equally sad that some of the betrayals at root of that jarring note, may be real. Sometimes the world can feel inaccessible and covered with emotional frost. Let us all wake up and recommit to sharing our warmth and Love with our fellow earth mates.

    Thank you, Jason, for this heartfelt tribute and contribution. Many in our community are still stunned and reeling from Beak's breaking off from this proverbial scene. Suicidality rates are up across the globe, likely due to COVID-19 and related factors. Also, even in my friendship circles, I'm witnessing a number of previously stale individuals decompensating. It's so sad even paranoia destroys relationships and lives. It is equally sad that some of the betrayals at root of that jarring note, may be real. Sometimes the world can feel inaccessible and covered with emotional frost. Let us all wake up and recommit to sharing our warmth and Love with our fellow earth mates.

  • Leilani Perry
    Leilani Perry California
    Jason, I'm so sorry for your loss. Suicide is so difficult to understand and process. I lost my best friend of over 20 years November 12 2019 to suicide. I always wonder if I had done enough, I knew he was in a depression...it's been so hard this last year because I think of the fact that I can no longer call him. Faith has helped me in this process of grieving and some says are harder than others. I just wish he knew how much he is missed.

    Jason,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Suicide is so difficult to understand and process. I lost my best friend of over 20 years November 12 2019 to suicide. I always wonder if I had done enough, I knew he was in a depression...it's been so hard this last year because I think of the fact that I can no longer call him. Faith has helped me in this process of grieving and some says are harder than others. I just wish he knew how much he is missed.

  • Wella
    Wella Honolulu, Hawaii
    Jason my condolences to you, his family, and all that were lucky to know your friend. Your tribute to him is beautiful...may be rest in peace.🙏 May your memories of him comfort you.💫 Much Love & Aloha~

    Jason my condolences to you, his family, and all that were lucky to know your friend. Your tribute to him is beautiful...may be rest in peace.🙏
    May your memories of him comfort you.💫 Much Love & Aloha~

  • Gale
    Gale Hawaii
    What a beautiful tribute to your friend! You were such a blessing to him as he was to you. My condolences to his family. May God's peace and comfort be upon them. Suicide is such a difficult topic to write/talk about. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to write about it but I hope that by sharing this, it brought you healing, peace and comfort.

    What a beautiful tribute to your friend! You were such a blessing to him as he was to you. My condolences to his family. May God's peace and comfort be upon them.
    Suicide is such a difficult topic to write/talk about. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to write about it but I hope that by sharing this, it brought you healing, peace and comfort.

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